The Hummingbird Man

by Edward Kane

The pier's parking lot was vacant except for the strands of faded yellow crime scene tape billowing in the breeze. The car grumbled as I turned the ignition key off. It was old and unreliable like the boisterous man I drove by a few miles ago. He stopped me to explain all about a filthy homeless man who gave him a hat to shield him from the elements, then the homeless man vanished into thin air leaving only a thrilled man in a dirty hat. As if a homeless man would give anything to anyone, let alone disappear.

This was not a place where kind things happened. Not anymore.

My eyes cringed at the sound of the creaking car door and I felt like I was floating over the ground. Being back here hurt and suddenly, I heard her voice echo through my head. She laughed and said, that's the understatement of the year.

The pier was overflowing with people that night, she was happy, cackling with laughter. I still see her like that-- her head tossed back, laughter like thick smoke. She was impossible to ignore. And as such, few were able to walk by her without making eyes at her.

"Drew! Come on, you know you're more than just the weird boyfriend deterrent."

"Am I? We come to Lover's Ledge and you shoot your eyes all over, like you're baiting any and all."

She turned away from me and I saw her tense up as she made eye contact with a bulky guy who looked a bit older than us. Anne ran to my side and snuggled against me.

There was shame in her eyes. She was embarrassed that I was right. She started to speak but I put my finger to her lips.

"You don't have to explain. I'm sorry I was so--" I didn't finish the thought because it didn't need to be said. We knew where we stood. We knew no one else would understand and that was okay because…

I felt a twitch rise up my spine and settle in my neck.

Anne and I were best friends since the third grade. My life was at a standstill without her. Twenty years doesn't disappear inside of two.

No one knows why she was dumped here, is it strange that I think maybe it would be different if I had answers.

Everyone I knew had something to say about it. Their words never ceased repeating in my head, ringing like a church bell to an outsider: "She's gone. You have to move on."

Anne was the only one who didn't make me feel like the odd man out. And she's gone. How am I supposed to just be okay?

The chorus continued. "It's been nearly two years. Move on."

As I approached the pier, it was difficult to remember a time when this relic was attractive. She was found below the rickety boardwalk pier that extended outward from the parking lot. The pier was scenic, too high up for fishing but you could stand and feel the pleasant breeze off the ocean. It was a common place for engagements and romantic encounters. Maybe it was that atmosphere that made it appealing. It's definitely the atmosphere now that--

A lone strand of dingy crime scene tape flitted in front of me.

My best friend was stolen from the world and left beneath like common litter. Everyone has given up-- moved on --including the police.

I collapsed. My knees collided with the pavement and I groaned heavily. While on the ground, the tears came.

A strange, weary voice flew through the breeze. "If you want to tell him then you should tell him."

I wiped my eyes and looked toward the sound, not sure if the statement was meant for me or a third party. A dirty brown rag was pressed toward me, I declined and watched it disappear into a pocket of a long coat. It, too, was old and unraveling. The dark coat gave way to a man with soft eyes and a softer expression. His hair was cleaner than the rest of him, untouched by the effects of the weather. He reached a hand up toward his head, as if to adjust a hat. Then quickly lowered his hand. I saw surprise in his eyes.

"If I offer you my hand, will you take it?"

He sounded eager to help. I nodded and then took his outstretched hand. "Thank you," I croaked.

Once I got to my feet, I stepped backward to brush myself off and then felt guilty for stepping away from him.

He smiled and adjusted his coat's collar. The look on his face didn't match the words he said. "Getting colder."

"Yeah... I wasn't expecting it to be this windy." As soon as I said it, I heard myself saying it to Anne, years before. I closed my eyes and my whole body shivered.

I opened my eyes to find the man standing further from me, with his pointer finger extended and before I could ask what he was pointing at, a tiny hummingbird landed on his finger.

"Whoa!"

The man looked at the bird and nodded once then said, "I can't ask him that."

"Ask me what?"

"No, I meant I don't have to ask."

"What?" The wind was fierce and I wanted to fall away with it then I saw the bird who was holding fast, by looking at the bird I couldn't tell it was incredibly windy. It was unfazed.

"You knew the girl that was found here," The man didn't break eye contact. He stood there with eyes that had no business being as kind as they were.

"Anne. Yeah. She was special. Just knowing she had my back meant the world to me, I felt like none of the day-to-day bullshit had any hold on me because she was there. And I was there for her. Except... when it counted."

The man took a step toward me.

"No, that's not right. You can't do that."

"What?" I winced away from him.

"You can't blame yourself. Her death wasn't your fault."

"It feels like it is," I looked away, back to the car and the bright pink heart sticker still remained on the side next to the rear light. She put it there when I wasn't looking and now it looked faded.

"Do you know how long hummingbirds live?"

I shook my head.

"Less than five years. Most often around three. That's shorter than your time spent in high school."

Flashes of high school fluttered across my vision as if the little bird was doing it, flapping memory after memory at me.

"Let me ask you something, how long has it been since…" He didn't finish. He didn't have to.

"Nearly two--" I choked and couldn't get all the words out.

Clouds rolled in above, foretelling a storm, the man brought the bird closer to his chest and said, "The weather's changing."

"I won't be long," I said as I walked past him toward the pier that was roped off with chains and a sign that warned against trespassers. I climbed over it and took a breath. The salt water was like balm for my entire being. The waves crashed below me and I thought of Anne crashing along with the water. It hurt. It hurt so goddamn much.

"What am I supposed to do now? Everyone says to move on. Everyone talks and talks and you were the only one that listened. You were the only one I needed and now..." I beat my fists down on the wooden railing. The water had damaged the wood and I felt splinters clash against my skin.

How long ago had the pier been built? It was still here. It was condemned but remained steady and solid. I wiped my eyes and looked back toward the parking lot. The man with the long coat was gone. For a brief moment, I thought I heard a fluttering of wings that seemed to fade into the breeze like a few grains of sand caught in the wind.

The rain began and from more than a hundred feet away, I could see the faded pink sticker on the rear of the car. As I approached, I saw the rain running through the layer of dirt on the car. I smiled.

"Twenty years doesn't disappear inside of two."

/The End/